Four Seasons of Loneliness
by Keisuke Cloudberry
Summary: You look like an angel..." Kirihara at least hoped to find happiness in the loneliest season, winter. KiriAn. Merry Christmas and Happy birthday, Sempai-sama!


**Title:** Four Seasons of Loneliness  
**Summary:** "You look like an angel..." Kirihara at least hoped to find happiness in the loneliest season, winter. Merry Christmas and Happy birthday, Sempai-sama!  
**Disclaimer:** Character's not mine, Show's not mine, plot's not mine. Happy?  
**A/n:** This is my birthday gift to my bestest friend, sempai-sama. XD I hope this doesn't disappoints you too much, I know it's far away from what you liked. Well, you only told me the end! (And I didn't even follow it..) I still needed to finish my deadlines so viola! A lame fic for your birthday.

Enjoy, and Merry Christmas to everyone!

* * *

**Four Seasons of Loneliness**

_"You look like an angel to me, Kirihara-kun..."_

* * *

"_I'm so sorry..."_

Three years of being together and now, it ends with three separate words. Crystalline snow was drifting from the dark sky as evening fell around him. Kirihara Akaya stood silently in an abandoned park, with no one at hand save him and his melancholy.

It was the worst Christmas gift anyone could give him. And on top of that, it came from _her_.

She left him so suddenly, without stating any clear or proper reason. She said it wouldn't work out and nothing would happen in their relationship. He couldn't understand why she thought so, and yet he found himself agreeing to her words.

He was supposed to give her the ring he promised; she was eager about that too. And now it's all down the drains. All he wanted was to be with her this Christmas, was it really too much to ask?

Cheerful laughter resonated across the empty park. It was Christmas Eve, and everyone was preparing for their celebrations—except for him. He stopped trudging forward and stashed his hands inside his pockets, hoping to warm them up. It was getting colder.

He then felt something crumple inside of one of his pockets, and remembered the piece of paper she gave to him a while back. He didn't want to pull the slip out and read it; but his hands disobeyed and he smoothed it out in his pocket, anyway.

He just didn't want to crumple it further. He didn't want to crumple his _heart_ anymore.

His smirk was bitter as he gazed across the sky. To think that he wanted to kiss her under the mistletoe this Christmas.

"_Merry Christmas, An-chan…"_

The snow continued to fall on his head.

* * *

Ume petals waltzed downwards as the morning rose. It was a surprise to himself that he woke up early, not to mention that he was already sitting on a park bench, like he had been waiting for someone.

It was springtime.

He never quite understood why he was there so early in the morning; he must've gotten used to waiting for An on their way to school together. He would always sit on that same bench, watch her run towards him, a smile on her face. He always feels strangely happy whenever she meets him, and he comes ten minutes earlier just for this moment. He wasn't even the punctual type, but his house was just around the corner and he figured that seeing her smile was worth far more than ten minutes in his day.

Then they would walk very slow, so slow that they'd come to school fifteen minutes late. Their classmates would laugh at them, but they would just ignore it.

Kirihara liked sunset in the spring better than the other seasons. It was in the spring sunset that he would wait at the school gates for An—her professor couldn't stop himself from dismissing them ten minutes later. Afterwards, An would come running again, and sometimes one of her barrettes would fall and he'd be there, just to pick it up. He'd laugh at her, and the An gives him a predictable –and yet still cute– pout.

They'd walk home together, and always pass by a range of Ume blossoms that are especially beautiful in Spring. There are also a few lilacs there, spirited blooms by the side of every Ume tree.

The spring breeze, now, brought out the lilac scent from where Kirihara sat. It made him rather nostalgic, in a way neither good nor bad.

What the hell was he waiting for, anyway?

The petals continued to fall as Kirihara Akaya left the park.

* * *

Summer was Kirihara's least-favored season.

He was always treated like a baby during the summertime. Every time they go on summer vacation, An always stops by to his house to drag him out for ice cream. He never _wants_ to agree to it, but he just _can't_ resist it, especially when she points her ice-cream cone at his mouth and demands that he take a bite.

And, of course, he would take the opportunity, and lick the loose cream off the cone, but he would always feel irritated when An pulls away and eats the rests ice-cream for herself. He would end up buying one for himself and she would end up clutching her stomach while she laughs at him, trying to lick it all up quickly without embarrassing himself.

But he ends up liking the season, anyway. They would go for short walks at the beach near An's grandmother's villa, and oftentimes they invite the other Rikkai regulars. Niou-sempai would start teasing them about how they went all lovey-dovey. And they'd both become annoyed by that and together tell him to shut up by smacking him to death.

Akaya paused as he passed by an ice cream stall. Was it a good time for ice cream?

Maybe.

* * *

Fall was, for Kirihara, a happy season. He liked it, amidst the autumnal shedding of petals from their favorite Ume blossom. It was the season that Tachibana An vowed to him that they would be together forever. Regardless of the times they fight or fling things at each other, they promised that they wouldn't leave each other's sides. They even sealed the promise, with their little fingers. It sounds childish, for sure, but at the time it was the two of them, and they had been wrapped in romance.

Kirihara then told her that he would give her the ring to make sure that they keep the promise. Tachibana An could only smile and hug him.

"_It's a promise, okay?"_

Another pinky promise…

"_Promise."_

She never kept the promise.

Now, he was beginning to dislike autumn.

* * *

It was winter. Again. He didn't want to remember anything that happened this season, he wanted to forget all about it, though he found it really hard to do. She never left his mind. He wondered why.

He was walking through the same park that he was walking through last Christmas and his emerald eyes widened in surprise when he came upon a person he never thought he would see again.

Tachibana An, who was looking up to the sky, not bothering to notice the snowfall grazing her shoulders.

"An…"

Hearing this, she turned to him and smiled. Kirihara couldn't utter another word anymore. She neared him, slowly but couldn't really move well. Kirihara rushed to her and helped her.

"Why are you out here alone? And why—"

"I'm sorry, but is there any chance that I've met you before?" She asked and smiled sheepishly at him, laying her hands on the metal arms of the wheelchair.

He was shocked to hear that from her. It had only been a year and she already forgotten about him?

"Ah! Don't get it wrong," She continued. "The doctors said I had…etou…what was it?"

Kirihara Akaya raised his brow. Where was she getting to?

"Sou!" She gave him a smile. "They said I had Lacunar amnesia…or something…"

"Is that so?" Kirihara took a seat on the bench near An. "Since when?"

"Hm," She put a finger on her lip and mused for a moment. "Last year, maybe...I'm not really sure."

"Why don't you know?" Kirihara asked her again.

"It's amnesia."

"Ah," Kirihara couldn't help but laugh, now, "Sarcastic as ever, aren't we?"

"Excuse me?" An raised a brow at him, and demanded.

"Nothing."

Kirihara pulled out a piece of paper from his pockets. The same paper he had never dared to open till now. An threw a curious glance at him and the note.

"What's that?"

"This?" Kirihara raised the paper a little bit as he asked. "A letter from my girlfriend."

"Really, now…?" An's face showed her further interest.

"Want to read it for me?" Kirihara handed it to her and looked straight into her eyes.

"You want some stranger to read a letter for you?"

"You're not a stranger. You're a person I knew before, right?"

She shrugged. An took the note and read it out loud. At first her voice was silent, and then louder to let Kirihara hear her.

_"Kirihara-kun,_

_I'm sorry for having to end it like this but I really think this wouldn't work out. We have different paths to go through, and I think it would be best if we do it on our own. I'm going to Germany after Christmas and I probably won't come back._

_It's a hard thing to do, we've been together for as long as I can remember. I don't really want to do this, but I thank you for always being there. To be fair, keep the ring you promised, okay? _

_Maybe we'll get to meet each other again. _

_Maybe…"_

"She broke up with you?" An turned to look at him. He nodded and smiled sadly at her.

"She's a real idiot, if you ask me," She put her hands on her hips, "You could still continue a relationship even though you're worlds apart. Why'd she break up with you?"

"She has her reasons, I guess."

"Reasons that are not good enough!" An pouted disappointedly at the 'girl' in her mind.

"Maybe."

"Maybe," An muttered. "You're just too good for her, Kirihara-san."

"You think so?" Kirihara smirked and leaned back on the bench.

"You look like an angel to me," She murmured, clenching her fist. "Why'd she do that to you?"

What she uttered surprised him, again. Nobody ever told him that he looked like an angel. He smiled, then took her hand.

"Maybe I am an angel, just for her."

"Maybe you are," she giggled.

* * *

Kirihara Akaya felt snow above his head. He slowly opened his eyes and found himself alone, sitting in a bench in an abandoned park. He stood up and scratched his head, disgruntled. This wasn't a very good time to dream of things like that.

Then he caught sight of a girl beside one of the withered Ume blossoms, making herself comfortable on her wheelchair. He was rather surprised to see her there, of all times.

The girl caught sight of him as well and she smiled. "It's an angel."

Kirihara Akaya smiled back.


End file.
